How much grief can one person take? Dad’s only been gone 6 months. I’ve hardly had the time to start processing that, and mom’s symptoms started immediately after the funeral. At the time, we thought it was the stress of dad’s death. When it persisted, and worsened, we began to fear it was worse. I knew it was serious when Mom went to the doctor of her own volition. She’s had skin cancer on her nose for years and never went, no matter how often I begged her to.
I quote verses like “How long, O God, how long, until you answer me? My heart fails within me; my bed is swimming in tears.” Rather than looking them up, I paraphrase all the verses of dark Psalms I can remember. That’s all I relate to spiritually right now. I ruefully recalled last night, as I put 3 layers of Kleenex on my pillow to keep my cheek dry, that in one of my previous life crises I realized you could cry on 7 corners of your pillow, front and back, before you ran out of dry spots. Tonight I ran out.